i'm back!

last post was on August...really damn long time dint update my blog...
what am I busy with? same stuff.....career, family, son.....

tell all of you about that....i gonna be crazy!!!!
because....i gain my weight for 3kg man!!!!
#%?/*&^%#@$?//+
really very angry and sad sad sad......haiz...need to start keep fit..I do not want to be fat mummy...i wanna be a modern mom and pretty mom..haha...
gambateh lisa...go ahead! start keep fit now! before it late.......=(

my baby...haiz...recently....very naughty..and his 1st birthday is around the corner!
nothing special to celebrate his birthday...just whole family have a dinner and cut cake for him only...
this few days he was ill.....don't want to eat and drink....always cry in midnight....made me and husband can't sleep well...but we understand it is our responsibilities to be his parents....we got no excuse to blame of...

one more thing would like to share you....
A BAD NEWS FOR ME....My cousin's daughter passed away on last week....
she was just a 5 months baby....so cute and pretty baby....
before she leaving us she encountered two operation....but doctor have mentioned that the success percentage for operation is low.....
if it success she can live for more than 10 years, but if it unsuccessgul, she can just live for 2 more years...but one month after the operation she leave us!
it happened too suddenly! without expectation!
so pity my dear baby...only few months baby have to gone through so much suffer but still can't have a chance to continue live in this world...
she even no choice to see this beautiful world....
she even no choice to enjoy the fun of life...
she even no choice to taste the yummy food....
and and she even no choice to let us give her our love, our concern and our caring....
many things in this world have been arrange accordingly by the God......we can't disobey the rules and order of the God....
and she was ordered to not be our relative....and her parents' daughter......

after so many things....I learned to be open-minded....do not force myself to be perfect...
be cin-cai....don't so strict in every thing...
then I will be more happy.....

friend

don't know when it start....i felt that life was so critical....
in life, really hard to find a true friend....that can share everything with you....where he/she also can help you to solve your obstacles....

when you very close with a friend, you thought she is your close friend....but when you face some problem or situation, you will found that she is not belong to the 'true friend' group...
because maybe in some things both of you have the same interest on it so you thought that both of you are so close, but you are wrong...

haiz....true friend...where to find? and how to find?
i really need a true friend...but very difficult....
i really need somebody whose can share everything with me, and have same favourite and same interest with me....is it possible? i don't know...and i think i will not get the answer....forever....

we live in a world...just A world...but why there would be so so many kind of people?
when you interact with this person, he/she will tell you about other people's stuff...
but when you interact with that person, he/she will tell you something about another one person...
why people will become like that? why people have to be like that?
why?

i start thinking that people was so unexpected...somebody will do something that you can't expect and judge....so terrible...

haiz..hopefully someday i will not be like that too...

H@ppy birthd@y to mee...

haha...long time didn't update my blog...
busy working....

yesterday was my birthday....
thank you all my friends that wish me at Facebook....
thank you all my friends that wish me through SMS....
thank you my friend that wish me by phone...
and thank you my friend that wish me face to face...

very happy...and appreciate all the wishes received....

at the first, I thought that this year birthday would be as normal and nothing special...
but...but...
my husband gave me a suprise!

hehe...he went bought a Baskin Robin ice cream cake without my knowledge!
this is the first time he gave me a suprise....and let me felt that he is so caring me....
and this was the first time too I felt his strong love to me....
thank you hubby...love you....

besides, he also bought me a necklace....a shape of heart....thank you..i love it so so much....

well...still got a present....a present from God....my cutie baby Fu Rui Bin.....thanks God...
although he still don't know how to say happy birthday to me...but i can feel the love from him to me in heart...very deeply and strong.....

cannot forget two person too....they are my parents! thank you daddy and mummy for giving me an angpau....i will keep it properly....

lastly...thank you and thank you again to all of you!
i hope that in the following birthday i can celebrate with all my friends!
hehe.....

$$$

I need money $$$$$$$$$$$$$
Recently quite tired with the money stuff....
Things are so costly nowadays but our salary still remains...
haiz..really not ehough money for monthly uses and expenses.....

I need money to buy my facial cream.....day cream, toner, night cream,mask and all that...being women is so fan lol...


I need money to buy high heel shoes...that ones wearing right now gonna to spoilt liao...so...if not no shoes to wear to work leh...



I need money to buy many things and do many things....
perhaps if my boss can hear what I said...then hopefully 'she' will increase my salary...as higher as possible...is it possible? but at least I got dream ma....when we got dream then we are closer towards our income...hehe...just a excuse to make myself feel more happy...

Besides, wanna say sorry to all my friends...that I can't make myself to merge with every gathering that held by all of you....I'm useless....such a stupid monitor....can't carry my own roles also....I'm apologize for it...hope you guy can understand that I have my own family to take care of...so sometimes really can't come with you all.....really sorry...

But just wanna let all of you know that....In my heart, I still remember all of you....no matter our distance was so far away, and we have our own things to carry on...but I really really still remember all of you...hope that all of you din't forget about me....the stupid monitor.....

okay...stop here...miss you all....

life

life always like that....
we cannot control other people's thinking...
i can only be who i need to be...
and do what i need to do...
that's all....

halo lisa is back!

Halo dear friends I'm back!!!
Busy,exhausted.....my recently life.....
Many duties, jobs and responsibilities fullfill my daily routine....
No time to have a rest...but I quite enjoy with it....



Talk about working......
Enjoy working here...although there are so many jobs waiting me to finish and complete...
because my relationship with colleagues very good....so nice working with them...
they treat me very nice...all of them are so friendly.....
sometimes we chit chat.....sometimes we eating snack...the feeling is so good...although I'm tired on end of everyday....



Talk about mummy-ing....
My baby....9 months already....healthy....cutie...
and know how to call 'papa' liao!!!
But still don't know how to call 'mama'...sad.....never mind...
be patient...give him some time......he knows how to 'give me 5', 'dim chong chong' and others...
of course is more naughty liao....


Talk about wife-ing....
Our relationship still like that lo...no changes...still hot like we pah toh that time...hahaha
He treat me nice... don't worry my friends....
just sometimes I found that he don't know how to express his caring to me...but I know...he is care about me just he don't know how to show it.....I really know about it....
Not planning to have second child on this period....haha....it is true.....things are so costly nowadays....it is not easy to take care of a child....and educate him...really not easy....
Wait until we have save enough money for ourself...then maybe......>.<



Talk about daughter-in law-ing......bad....bad.....bad.....
I would like to continue my post in mandarin....sorry ah kiong....
媳妇永远都是别人的孩子。我开始有点认同。
不管我做得多好，我始终属于别人的孩子。
女儿的一句话，胜过媳妇的十句话。
有时心情好，就会跟你谈得开心。
有时心情不好，就会给你脸色看。
有时真的很不好受。可是却只能默默忍受，不能呻吟。
因为有她帮忙照顾孩子，因为有她帮忙打点家里的事务，因为她是我老公的妈妈，因为。。。。。
所以我只能把这所有的不满吞进肚子里，埋藏在心里，不能表达出来，不能发泄出来，唯有在这里宣泄，用一种不会对他人造成伤害的方法，而且也是最能表达我的内心世界的方法。
“嫁鸡随鸡，嫁狗随狗”，这句话我必须时常提醒自己。

好了，别再想这么多了，要想开点，不然只会让自己越来越难受，越来越痛苦。
丽霞，加油！要开心点！看看你的孩子，多么的可爱，多么的天真无邪，想着他，就想着他，你的烦恼就会消失了！

To Lisa: Don't Worry, Be Happy.
To Lisa's friends: Take Care and Miss.

new day + last day

Tomorrow I will be working at the new company...so maybe afterwards I will seldom online...
because I'm new at there..can't always online as I like...have to be serious in work liao...but I will try to update my life too... so that my friends will know about my recently life...Don't worry my friends....
Well, don't want to think so much liao...tomorrow just go there and do my work as I need to do...
I will try my best to finish all my job....


Don't worry my friends....
I will take care myself...If can I will try to msn with u guys....
And I got things to share with yours de...but lack of time....so next time if I still got time I will share with u guys about my unhapiness....

Say goodbye to my old environment...and say hello to the new one...
hope everything will going well at the new company...
let bygone to bygone
tomorrow will be another good beginning...for me...

Bye....take care my friends...
keep in touch ya...
miss all of you....
in my heart...

I pass my driving test

So, a good news from me : I passed my driving test!
hurray! no need to spend $$$ anymore! no need to re-exam anymore!
and of course finally I can drive car!

I felt myself so so lucky...yesterday I was in the afternoon session...when we reach there, we heard many people said that yesterday the pegawai was very strict and many people failed for the parking part...That time I really felt like : I sure die! I very scare of the bukit part, because when training I always fell down and my engine stopped. Luckily I can surmount it! The side parking and 3 points turn were not a problem for me.

On the road, I not worry because we got paid for "minum kopi" what....shhh....don't tell other people leh...if not I will be get summons from government...
So finally I passed all the parts....and I will get my license on this Saturday....

Then I can drive car....and I can fetch people...Anybody would like to fetch by me?
Haha....I think no one will dare to sit on the car that the driver is only "P License"...hehe...

One burden had gone...so still left one burden....still got one day I will be working at the new company...Don't know the colleagues there friendly or not? Don't know my boss will give me hard job or not? Don't know where is my sit or my place? Don't know I can handle all the things that I need to do? Don't know I can do all the jobs good or not? Don't know I can finish my jobs in the time given or not? Don't know.............

I feel like more frightened and stress......
Yesterday was felt stress for the driving exam, and now feel stress for the new job...
my stress and my worries never finish......it never stop......
when it will stop?
Tell u guys....maybe I always worry about this and that...and now I just left 52kg only....thinner than before I get pregnant....
But for me it is considered as a good news la...because girl always want to stay slim what....haha...but make sure that my appearance and my face will not looks like very pale and weak lo....

Stop here...have to finish my entire job before I leaving....

gambateh for ng lisa

Next Monday I will be attend to my driving exam!
Hope I can pass so that I really no need spend $$$ again for this stuff!!!!
I already spent RM 1,152 for it! If I fail on Monday, I have to spend RM 150 to have exam again!!!!
So 只许成功，不许失败！As I also do not have time to have exam again!
so, good luck lisa!

Next Thursday I will work at new company!
nervous.....stress......frightened.......
all these feelings continue to attack my brain.....I became weak and weak and weak......
I don't know I still can tahan until when....but I will try to persist.....no matter how hard is it....

recently everything not going smoothly....did everything also 碰钉子...
haiz....having bad luck....
can't do all the things good......
don't know why.....really felt very unhappy.....

I need a rest.....need a break for myself.....
but I can't....no chance, no opportunity and no choice at all for me to do this....
really wanna cry as loud as I can....but can I?
I CAN'T!

what more I can do?

confusing.....and thinking........

just hope, pray and wish everything will going more smoothly afterwards....
and me...will try my best to do all the things...good...

perhaps...

1st Wedding Anniversary

Time gone damn fast leh..tomorrow would be me and my hubby 1st year wedding anniversary.. 15/05
hehe....thinking on how to celebrate this special day?
erm...nothing special....because both of us have to working on tomorrow...
so just plan to go to watch a movie after our dinner....really long time din't watch movie liao.....the last time we watch movie is on Valentine's day....quite long time already....

Don't know what present to give him...as I don't know how to drive lah! Usually we go out together...if I buy him something, he sure will know....
so just do a card for him lo....a hand-made present is more valuable than a processed products aren't?
and is also can show my sincerity and love....although it's just a simple card....

Love is...the mother of love;

Love is...the reward of love;

Love is...the touchstone of virtue;

Love is...the true price of love;

Love is...the sweet tyranny;

Love...makes all equal;

Love is...blind;

and Love is.......WITHOUT REASON...

hope all my friends can found their true love,

found a person that treat you nice, care about you, and most important is

love you truely,madly and deeply...

Hubby, happy 1st wedding anniversary!

I love you, truely from my heart....

and it wil last forever and eternal...

happy mother's day

10th May 2009, the 1st mother's day I celebrate in my life...

nothing special....

as usual me and my husband took my mother and my mother-in-law to have a refreshment.....eat nicer food and eat "more expensive" food than we usually eat....

haha....that's all....i think my baby grow healthy is the only present I wish to possess on this mother's day....next year will hope he can say:" happy mother's day! mummy, I love you!" to me...but sure must have someone to teach him to say like that la...



recently...quite busy..so seldom update my blog...

busy with my work..I have to finish my entire job before I leave here....to the new company....
that is my responsibilities....right?
still left 19 days to go...then I will be work at the new company....kinda feel stress liao....



recently....busy with my driving lesson too....
still got 2 more class to go then I will attend to the exam...
hope I can pass..so I no need to spend money with it anymore!!
wish me good luck!



and also hope my friends doing well too....

pray for you all!

happy mother's day to all mom!

especially to my mummy and my mother-in-law!

and to me too!

>.<

给瑞斌的信

致：瑞斌

一、二、三、四、五、六、七，转眼间，你又七个月大了，时间真的过得很快，光阴似箭，应用这句成语最恰当不过了。

现在的你已经有五颗牙齿了！真快呀！你应该是想赶快生完所有的牙齿，那就可以吵着爸爸妈咪带你去吃McDonald或是KFC了，对吗？嘻嘻····可是快餐是没有营养的，但偶尔还是会带你去品尝，只要你乖乖听话，好吗？

现在的你，在学习着平坐。虽然坐的时候还不是很稳固，没关系，慢慢来，别害怕，妈咪会一直在你后面支撑着你，所以你不用担心会翻倒而敲到地面，因为妈咪是不会让你受到任何的伤害。

现在的你，天天都以Baby Walker代步，我们都称呼它为你的MERCEDES，哈哈·····可能希望你将来真的能拥有一台MERCEDES 吧！你的脚力很强，坐Walker时比我们走路还要快，你似乎都在跑哦！但你从不觉得疲倦，唉·····男生就是这么的活泼有劲了！

现在的你，很馋嘴哦！我们吃什么，你都要一份，如果我们不给，你就发脾气，好坏蛋哦！还有，你现在也很“手多”，什么东西都要拿来玩，不管是放在桌面上的或是橱门柜门，你都会想尽所有办法来得到它。如果这种“不屈不挠”的精神应用在你将来的学业或事业上，肯定是很好的，所以要坚持这种精神哦！

现在的你，精灵得很呢！你总是会知道，什么时间是到楼上房间睡觉，什么时间是该起床到楼下玩。每天晚上九点多左右，你就会嚷着要到楼上睡觉。每天早上八点多左右，你就会吵着要到楼下玩，坐你的MERCEDES！哈哈····你就会知道！现在的小孩都很聪明哦！

现在的你，已经开始吃粥了，哇····是不是品尝到好滋味了呢？看你吃到多么的开心·····但是奶还是要继续喝哦，因为奶对你的发育有很好的帮助，所以妈咪还是会继续买奶粉给你喝的。可是有件事情要你答应妈咪，奶一定要喝完知道吗？千万别不喝完，然后就拿去倒掉，这是多么的浪费啊！因为这是爸爸妈咪赚钱买回来的，答应妈咪好吗？

现在的你，超爱看电视节目哦！不管是卡通片、戏剧、体育节目······你都“统统全单照收”。尤其是广告时段，你都爱看。还有你最喜欢的，福建剧的开场主题曲，你超喜欢的哦！真拿你没办法。不过，适可而止哦，不然以后可要戴眼镜了。妈咪会去买一些儿童教育CD给你看，因为这总好过你看那些广告片或是戏剧片咯，那些都属于没有教育性的节目。可是你应该会怀疑，既然没有教育性的节目，大家却爱看，这应该是因为它比较好看咯！哈哈·····看是可以啦，但是别沉迷哦，知道吗？

现在的你，不再像刚出生时那样喜欢依偎在妈咪的怀抱里了，你已经懂得抗拒了。现在把你抱进怀抱里，你都会反抗，怎么呢？你刚出生时，妈咪都是这样抱着你，喂你喝人奶的啊····在医院时，不知是不是刚出生，你还不能习惯周围的环境导致你不能安眠入睡，妈咪都是这样抱着你入睡的啊····那时的你，躺在妈咪的怀抱里时睡得多么的甜啊！难道你都忘了吗？

斌斌，你很爱笑，有人说，你是结合了爸爸的开朗与妈咪的活泼，哈哈····所以是最优的！对，没错，你永远都是爸爸妈咪心目中最可爱最好的孩子！告诉你，妈咪最喜欢看到你笑了。你笑的时候，妈咪的心情都会快乐起来。尤其是每天早晨起床时，当你一睁开眼，第一件会做的事情就是笑了。所以就算妈咪再累再憔悴，只要看到你笑，什么疲倦都消失了。有句话是这么说的，父母的心情归咎于孩子的喜怒哀乐，这句话说得真没错。

斌斌，妈咪有些地方要指责你哦！不要随随便便就发脾气，这是不好的行为。这都要怪妈咪，妈咪以前也是这样的，唉····你遗传了我的坏脾气。你应该多学习爸爸那种容忍的性格，你看看爸爸，是不是很少发脾气的？所以你要向爸爸看齐知道吗？

再过几个月，你就要一岁了，从婴孩升格到儿童。其实，妈咪很自私，不希望你这么快长大，希望你永远都是婴孩，永远都在我们的怀抱里，让我们保护你。爸爸曾说过，他现在要常常吻你、抱你，因为当你慢慢长大后，你就会渐渐地不再与我们这么地亲密，你不会再像现在那样，让我们抱、让我们吻了。你有你的世界、你有你的朋友、你有你的伴侣······你已经不需要好像现在那样，需要我们的保护了，你，已经懂得怎样保护你自己了。但，妈咪想让你知道，当你需要被呵护时，当你需要一个温暖的怀抱时，妈咪的门永远为你而开。

斌斌，妈咪不希望你成龙，但更不希望你成虫，只希望你能脚踏实地的做人。将来，如果你不喜欢读书，没关系，妈咪不会勉强你的，因为妈咪也是过来人。只要你不学坏，完成学业就行了。出来社会后，妈咪不会要你一定要当专业人士或是做office工，只要你有一门手艺，过着安定的生活。你有你自己的朋友，但妈咪希望你要懂得回家，如果可以的话，常常给爸爸妈咪一个爱的拥抱或是爱的吻好吗？

最后，妈咪希望你能健健康康的成长，爸爸妈咪会尽量给你一个快乐的童年。

瑞斌，妈咪永远爱你。

妈咪

丽霞 笔

2009年4月29日

p/s: 朋友，双亲节快到了，你们有几久没给父母一个爱的拥抱或是爱之吻呢？还在犹豫要送什么礼物给父母？别再犹豫了，一个爱的拥抱、一个爱之吻，再加上一句“爸妈，父/母亲节快乐！我爱你们！”这就是最好的礼物。

happy, happy and happy...

Rainy n stormy have gone away....the rainbow now is fullfill whole the sky....so beautiful....
It is same with my expression and feelings in this moment...happy.....just happy....
many good things happen recently....I should thank God and thanks all my freinds....the wishes that givn by you all drive me in a proper way and give me a support to surmount all the challenges and obstacles too.....appreciate it .....please accept the thank you from my heart...

First good news: I GET MY JOB!!!!!!!!! Hurray! It is so exciting that I can run away from this old environment finally!!! I will start the new job after a month. After a month, there will be a lot changes to me..I can work in a new environement, have many new colleagues...new boss....all things will be new..there such a new born for Lisa! So happy for it....

Second good news: ME AND MY HUBBY OWN A NEW CAR! Not a new car la, just my hubby's boss bought him a car...second-hand one la....but it considered as a new car for us la...although it is not a luxurious car.....but happy that I will not have any transport problem when I work at the new company...I can drive there by my own!

Third good news: MY BEST FRIEND FOUND HER MR.RIGHT! It is good good news for me...I can't mention who was the best friend...I just know that she is enjoying the relationship between them...she is now being loved by a good guy....a quite good guy la..i think he is not bad la..hope I will not judge him wrongly la... really hope that he can treat her nice and love her truely and deeply...wish them will love forever and eternal....pray for you, my best friends...

Below were the photo of my baby since him born until now....would like to share with my friends how cute is him! Hehe...for me he is the most cute baby!

oops.....shame shame.....'''

what are you doing ya? rui bin's Mercedez oh.....no.....u saw my naked body! wah...the mouth opened so big til a flies oso can fly into it! why you look me like that? like father, like son like mother, like son so close o.....
why you curi took my sleeping photo? few days after came back from hospital wau..so small alrdy so sensitive with the camera..

all the best

Tomorow will have my second interview at the same company. That day I said it is a ING Insurance Berhad, sorry I was mentioned wrongly. Actually it is a company called Great Vision Sdn. Bhd. It is a financial planning company, while it also selling insurance products.

I have received their call on today to ask me tomorrow go there to have my second interview. I think this time will talk about my salary, i think. Because last interview we haven't touch about the salary topic. This time will talk about it, perhaps.

And I think tomorrow they will not ask me to type documents again gua, i think. Because my typing skill still not pass yet. Because only one week period then I can type so fast like all of you, IMPOSSIBLE MAN! Nevertheless, after I listen to all the advices that provided by my friends, I think my typing speed got improve a bit liao, a bit la I think. Previously the speed is 20km/j, now is 40km/j lo...hahaha...>.< I simply say only la.

Hope I can pass the interview on tomorrow. Really hope I can get it so that I can tell this good news to all of you! Hahaha...

Good luck to me again! Sorry cz I always need all of you to pray for me!
But because of the wishes that given by you all, I can surmount all the obstacles and challenges!
Thank you! And wait for the good news from me!
GAMBATEH!

我投降了

一睁开眼，周围都是一片漆黑，我，摸不着，也看不着，

恐惧的魔鬼在不断吞噬着我的身体，

我的身体开始遍体鳞伤，

心在淌着血，

无奈没有援手可把我从魔鬼的血盆大口给拉回来，

就算我撕破喉咙不断地大喊求助，

也无动于衷。

我选择投降了，

我，放弃了，

我，彻彻底底的失败了，

魔鬼还在吞噬着我的肉体，

但我，此刻，眼泪已经从手心划过了。

shame

yesterday already went to interview...felt vry gan qiong leh..
cz it is a big company..and there are many people working there...the ambience was really different if compare to my old environment...


The person-in-charge that interview me called Angie..
First, she ask me several general questions lo..I will not forget what she said at first word:" you only 19 years old ah? your appearance looked like more mature o." I only can smile to her. "you already get married ah?" Ya, baby oso 7 months already" I answered.
then ask me my education level until what stage..
I said:"SPM ONLY." Then she said Ok.
Ans she ask whether I got take any other course, I answer No.

She looked at my certificate, and she said my result not bad but why don't want to continue to study, is it because maternity, I answer her "YA". Then she said it is wasted if I don't want to continue to study. I told her I wil continue to study later..Now she ask me to continue our conversation with english.

Then she ask what computer software I know, "Microsoft Words, Microsoft Excel, Microsoft Power Point, Chinese Star". Then she ask whether my typing speed fast or not because there will be many typing jobs that I need to do and it all have to be rush so I should be type fast so that I can finish all the work. "Actually my typing speed is quite slow, but I will learn to type faster." After that, she straight away test my typing skill. She ask me type a form with many borders then she want to calculate the time I using to finish typing the form. I was not sure how long the time I had use but I felt like quite long...then she said will inform me later...I spent total one and a half hour over there! I can't expect that my interview session will take so much time de..

Shame...really shame for it...Why my typing skill so 'cha' de? I oso dun noe why..since last time until now my typing speed remains the same, slow...and slow...I can't type fast like you all..if I type fast then there will be many wrong words....I don't know why? Can please someone teach me how can I inprove my typing skill? and my typing speed too? I want to inprove myself before they agree to hire my..because I don't want to be repel by my colleagues and be left outside from them...I really scare....I really worry..if I'm giving a job then because my typing speed is so slow it makes me can't finish the job in the time given then I sure will be scold by my boss de!

Please help me...please teach me how to improve my typing skill and speed too.. will appreciate what you teach me..I will start to practise type faster from now...

Anyone that have tips o hints that can help me to improve my typing skill and typing speed please leave a comment for me under this post or just leave a message for me in the chat box...Thank you...Your assistance is much appreciated...thx...

wish me good luck...

Well, tomorrow will going to interview for a job again...
the position is admin. clerk in ING Insurance Berhad at the Jalan Sungai Lasak there...

tomorrow after i off work then will straight away go there...

I really really hope that I can get the job.....really pray I can get it...because I felt very very frustrated if continue to stay here......i really felt not happy working here......Maybe anyone of you will not understand why I hate here so much....all i only can say is there are no meaning if you do something that you are not happy with it, aren't?

All of you can study the course that you all prefer but I can't....all of you can go out with your friends and go anywhere that you want but I can't....all of you can go play, enjoy, watch movie, shopping, entertain, yum cha...................................BUT I CAN'T!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Really frustrating!!!!!!!! and unhappy!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

And my husband didn't give me any support...he just share my unhapiness...means I express all my unhapiness to him then he just listen and listen only.....that's all! haiz...........

mummy really felt unhappy....rui bin, only you can make mummy happy..............
you smile, mummy will smile too....mummy love you......muacks........

my friends, wish me good luck ya.............may God bless me!

《无题》

天气真的变化莫测，此刻晴朗，下一刻可能突然就下起倾盆大雨；

月亮的形状亦如此，时而圆，时而缺，

这世界的所有事情已经不再是我们所能控制的，

而且很多事情的发生往往都出乎意料的，

或是你没想过的。

你要如何去反应它？

你会如何去接收它？

我不知道。

我只知道我的心脆弱地像一块玻璃般，

无法承受突如其来的刺激。

可是这世界就是这样，

就算你有千般万般的不愿意，

你还是得接收它。

不是你不能选择，

而是你「没有选择」。

我的心告诉我，

人类已经不再是万物之灵，

因为我们已无法控制这个世界，而是任由它摆布，

不是吗？

我可以选择不再当生活的奴隶吗？

可以吗？我行吗？

我也希望我行，因为我已经被它搞得精疲力尽了，

我真的很想赶快脱离它的摆布，

越快越好！

给我的朋友

致：我所有的朋友

朋友，我真的觉得自己离你们越来越远，越来越远。。。

虽然我们之间的距离只有几公里的差距。。。。

你们现在都是到学院上课或升上中六，忙的都是功课、ASSIGNMENT、PROJECT和PRESENTATION；

而我现在已经出来社会工作，忙的都是工作及为钱烦恼；

你们还是受父母保护的孩子；而我却已经是要保护孩子的妈妈了；

我们的身份已不同了。

最近知道有些朋友为了学业烦恼、成绩不理想，还有在学校与同学们的关系不理想，你们都会埋怨还有感到垂头丧气。。还有烦恼这个那个。。。搞到自己很不开心。。

朋友，我只是想告诉你们， 要珍惜你们现在所拥有的，珍惜在学校的光阴。

或许你们已开始对现在的生活感到厌倦，但你们要想想，有些人连继续升学的机会都没有，就像我。老实说，我有时也真的想像你们一样，到学校或学院上课，当个快乐的学生。

因为，在社会做工，真的不是你们所想象那样容易的。外头的社会，是多么冷酷、多么无情。如果遇到好老板，那就是你三生修来的福；如果遇到刻薄的老板，那你可就要倒大霉了！

你们到学院上课，有朋友、有同学、有老师，那多好啊！或许你们现在会觉得很讨厌读书，但光阴似箭，时间很快就会过去的，待你们毕业时，你们可能会感到不舍得或后悔当初没有好好珍惜你们在学院或学校的日子。在学院上课或是中六的生活都是多姿多彩的！吸取的知识也很深入，这种的生活是多么地令人羡慕啊！

朋友，要珍惜现在与朋友一起读书的时光；

要珍惜现在有好老师的教导；

要珍惜现在有好的环境继续升学；

最重要是：有父母辛苦赚钱回来供你们读书。

我也已经为人母亲，我也是很希望我的孩子以后不会步我的后尘，这么早就结婚，读不多书。我也希望他能拥有高的学历，那以后找工作就容易了，薪水也能高一点，那么生活就好过了。因为父母看到你们的生活过得不好，他们也会觉得很心痛的。就像我看到我的孩子打针时，他痛得大哭出来，我的心也跟着流泪，整颗心很痛，像被搅成一块似的。望子成龙，望女成凤是父母不变的心愿。

朋友，父母的心声你们听见了吗？所以要珍惜你们现在所拥有的一切！别再那么不快乐了！你们还有很多关心你们的朋友在支持着你们！就像我，虽然我们的距离很远，但我会永远给予你们心灵上的支持，在我心中，我会祈愿我的所有朋友能过得很好，天天快乐！

祝福你们！朋友，加油！

丽霞 笔

2009年4月2日

good news!

A good news is going to tell all of you...which is........................................

I PASS MY UNDANG TEST!

WITH 48/50 RESULT!!!!

Haha.....Am I pro enough? Sorry for being sooooo bhb......cz I am too exciting liao......I didn't do the 1000 question and other exercises...just read the undang book at the night after my baby sleep ( and the time I want to sleep too)...I can't believe that I can pass it with quite high score...(oops, sorry i am praising myself again)....So,

CONGRATULATION TO ME YA!

This coming weekends will going to attend the 6 hours Amali Course...and I have to pay RM160 again for this course...already spent RM 330 for my driving test....only can get my License L....haiz...it really costly for me....but I have no choice...because I want to get my driving license as soon as possible! so that later I can buy a car and go to work by myself...no need my husband to fetch me liao.......

Talking about my job.......that day the interview session was not successful....but never mind.....

because now I have found quite a few job to interview.......on tomorrow.......

but..........still not sure will going to interview which one.......

Anyway hope I can get one of those job so that I can leave here......... AS SOON AS I CAN!!!

I don't want continue to be lonely at here.....and learning nothing.....

I really pray and hope that I can get a new job quickly...

so that I can learn new things,

learn new people,

and of course encounter new challenges...

jia you! wait the good news from me!

GAMBATEH!!!

Erm....last two days already went to take a look on the new environment...
unfortunately it doesn't met my needs...and the people there...not friendly also....
and of course the reimbursement.......same with now one's....not big difference.........

it means that I still have to stay at this old environment......until I found my new environment.....
actually I already fed up and try to give up.....but......there is always a better tomorrow is waititng for us!

my husband's friend said will recommend a new environment for me soon...not sure it deal or not...but as long as I TRIED.....am I right? So...

LISA, don't try to give up!

If you fail this time, there will be many chances again in the future!

You should be treasure what you possess now! You still own a job but many people lost their job outside there!

Hence, just be patient....and I believe you will found it one day!

gambateh, lisa!

p/s: this coming Sunday will going to attend the undang test...i'm worry that if I fail I have to pay to be tested again....so, WISH ME GOOD LUCK ya!

GAMBATEH LISA!!!!!!!

A new life is around the corner!

Tea or coffee?

every moment in our life, we have to make a choice...

no matter what choice you have made,

just believe in yourself...

i hope that what I choose was the choice that I really want to choose...

previously I continue and continue said that I was not happy with the old environment(u will know abt it if you got read my post before),

and I also said that now was not the time for me to change to new environment...

but now the time for it...

although it still not a very suitable time for me to do this,

but I CHOOSE to do it...

because I don't want let myself for being so unhappy and stress liao...

i need a new life for
myself!

next week i will go take a look on my new environment and meet with people there...

sure will consult about my duties and the reimbursement that pay for me...

if it satisfy my needs and the environment is good for me to learn things...

then i'm going to say 'BYE BYE' to my old environment!

but of course everything sure havent confirm de...

so,

WISH ME GOOD LUCK YA!

HURRAY!!!!!!!

原來快乐可以很简单。。。

昨天晚上回娘家，老公的朋友住在娘家附近，他朋友的车有东西要老公帮忙检查，因为我老公的职业是汽车修理。

临走前，他朋友吩咐我，叫我介绍一些女生朋友给他们那些还没交女朋友的朋友。。。（这句话里有好多朋友的字眼哦>.<

我就告诉他，不是我不要介绍给他们，因为不是每位女生都像我这样喜欢年龄与我们相差大的男生的（我老公大我十一年哦！看不出哦！嘻嘻。。。〕

随后，我的老公冒出一句话，他说：“不是每个人都像我这样幸运的。”

一句很普通的话，可是却能让我开心很久。。。

因为我的老公很少会说这种话的，而且这次是在他的朋友面前说，

对我来说，那个意义真的很重大。

哈哈哈哈。。。或许你会嘲笑我，为了这么小的事情都可以这么开心，

但是，我可以告诉你，

我是一位超情绪化的女生，

今天或许我很开心，但明天我可以突然变得很伤心。。。

我的老公能忍让我，真的很不容易。。

所以我很容易满足的，我并不要求高，

我不要求我的老公一定要很有钱很有钱、我不要求他一定要买洋房或豪华车给我坐，

只要他真心对我、爱我，疼我们的孩子，

对我忠心，那就已经够了。。

真的足够了。。。

所以只要他对我说一些甜言蜜语，我都非常开心。。。

就像我老公，每天都过得轻轻松松的，

你很少会看到他不快乐的，他每天都不计较这么多，做人很随便，

所以他很快乐。。。

看到他，我发现原来快乐可以很简单的。。

我想我应该向他多多学习。。。

moodless....n tired....*-*

Recently not in good mood....dun know why...
just felt not very happy...
maybe because of the same thing lo: the old environment...

haiz....really upset with these...
but i'm helpless....and nothing can do to change it....

That day watch a movie, quite long time ago de movie...."Princess D", in mandarin is "xiang fei"...I dun know you all still remember it or not...

This movie was about if you want to fly or go the place that you hope to go, your dream will come true if you persist with your dream, and not give up...no matter how stupid are you, how tiny are you, how ugly are you...you can make it in the end...and go the place that you really hope to go...

I hope that i can become the Princess D, go the place that I wish to go, do the thing that I prefer to do...I really hope that I can fly...let all the unhapiness,burden go...forget all the stupid troubles and duties....just be myself...
CAN I? CAN I?

I got the answer from my heart: "IMPOSSIBLE"..

Ya...i know it was impossible...as long as i got dream....i can imagine although i can't make it...if you have dream then you are closer to your goal...the phrase that people always mention...aren't?

And I'm tired too...I felt myself was a hamburger, squeeze by both parties, first party was my parents and relatives, second party was my husband's parents and relatives....

Sometime really felt embarrassing...or the other word is dun know how to divide us into two parts so that we can satisfy the both parties...i hope that we can be cut into two parts...if we can..

I hope i can have a enough rest for myself...and long time dint go out play play or entertain le...hope can go travelling....haiz...no $$$ leh...just forget about it la..

if can go "GENTING HIGHLAND" also not bad right?

school = battle field??

%*/????/*%$%%%$?//*{].\>]\

Sorry for being so rude...but it really made me very very angry man!!!!!!!

What the hell of this ah? Damn TERUK MAN!!!

Yesterday my brother kena beaten by ORANG MELAYU IN THE SCHOOL!!!

listen carefully...it was happened in the school!

School, a place for us to study, to gain the knowledge and to broaden our mind and eyesight too.

it is also the safe place for us to spend our almost whole day time with it...

But now it is no longer safe, no longer disciplined!

Yesterday, when my brother stay in the class, suddenly a gang of Malay students went into his class and beat them! Not only my brother was beat by them, but the other CHINESE students also kena. And they use SCHOOL CHAIRS AND TABLES AS THEIR WEAPON!! When my brother's friends took him run away, the malay gang still didn't let him go and chased him by holding a iron stick! All the teacher look at it but all of them DOING NOTHING! Then police came...

One more thing tat lagi teruk was the police's attitude! In the school after the policeman came, my mother wanna took my brother to see doctor as his head was keep bleeding, but the policeman said CANNOT! He said small matter only and want to take my brother and the malay gang to police station.

Ok, then my mother have to work so she went to work and asked my father to follow them to police station. In the police station, my brother and the malay gang were asked and questioned by the policeman in a room while my father and the other students' parents were waiting outside of the room. They spent total 5 hours at the police station!!!

Not only this, my father felt very angry as the policeman said the incident will settle through fighting of both malay and chinese gangster. Oh my god! It actually my brother (the chinese students) beaten by the malay gang, but they said it was they fighting and battle!!! What the hell of this ? It such like they wanna menyebelahi the malay gang!

Besides, the attitude when the policeman questions them also damn damn teruk leh! As my brother said, the policeman said to him: " awak punya XXXX itu masih kecil saja tau tak sudah mau gaduh ah? awak mau gaduh ka? mari gaduh dengan saya lah! mari! mari gaduh dengan saya lah! " OH OH MY GOD!!!!!!! Is it the way a policeman talk to a student? Is it the way??

And, 5 hours at there, no any drinks or food provided! My brother only had his breakfast at 7 a.m. until afternoon 5 p.m. only went back home to eat! I really can't imagine the situation when he was at the police station, head bleeding, stomach hungry-ing and thirsty-ing! Oh...my pity brother...

After reach home, my father took him to clinic...luckily the wound not deep enough so no need to sew and doctor just clean the wound and gave him some medicine to consume. His face also beaten by them until 'black green'...luckily not so seriuos... My father said, he saw got other students beat until very serious...the leg injured and can't walk properly...the face beat until bleeding and swelled...haiz...sad...sad....

The school that my brother study was a secondary school in Taman Klang Utama. A school that famous with the fighting of students...

It was really UNFAIR!!! Please help to inform your friends and relatives not to send their children for study at such teruk school...a non-disciplined school....

And our country...hopeless already.....that's why we can't improve to a higher standard....u see...such a thing also can happend in school, so where got law already?where got? where got?????????

haiz....no more 'Malaysia Boleh' la.....society now so bad....and the market all so down.....but the authority party and adminstration party still didn't carry their responsibility to improve our counrty and cooperate together to bring our country's status quo to a higher one.....but only know how to debate and argue to each other and fighting on authority and position in the Parlimen...........

Can you all stop all these and just do the thing that you all suppose to do? Such the incident also can happend in the school, who knows that it will happend at anywhere in our country? who knows? I think God knows it.......Perhaps.......

I hope our country will change into a better one.......although i know the chance will be so tiny.......and hope my brother will not injure again....if not i will really disclose and expose this bad news and their bad side to all people in this country! so that all people can look clearly what they look like!

i really dare to do it! so please do not force me to do it!!!!!!!!!!

i give you all a first warning!

~无言以对~

我知道伤心不能改变什么，那么那就干脆一点。。。

人家常说，开心与否，掌握在自己的心及在于你怎样想。。。

话还真的说得容易，可是要做到，真的是很难。。。
我们是人类，一种有感情、有情绪、有泪有血的动物。。。
要做到百侵不入，哈哈。。。这也太不可能吧。。

伤心或生气一定会有，在于你是如何控制它的程度及长度，
你可以选择很生气很生气，或是只选择稍微生气就好；你可以选择生气很久，或是只选择生气一下就好。。。
但是也必须看情况而定的。。。

但对我来说，这真的非常不容易。。。真的不容易啊。。。

最近的日子过得快乐，但也参杂着不快乐。。。

一个男人，他可以是一个好男人，但他未必是一个好老公。。
怎么说呢？就好像我老公，他是一个超级好男人（对我来说），他不赌、不吸、不喝、不嫖，又没有什么不良嗜好，参的朋友也是来来去去那几个，我都跟他们很熟略了。。。
但就是不是一个好老公，因为他比较老实，不会说甜言蜜语来逗我开心；还有比较不会观察我的脸色。。。没有记性，跟他说过的事情，很快就忘记了。。。有时真的被他气死。。

但是我知道他已经算是很好了。。我知道自己的条件也不是很好，所以我没有资格去要求别人怎样。。。
老公，在这里有些话想要对你说。
谢谢你每次都忍让我，永远都不会正面跟我起冲突；
谢谢你这么疼我，我要什么你都会买给我；
谢谢你这么疼孩子，你疼他，我也很开心；
不管以后的路怎样辛苦，我也会陪你一起挨下去，绝不会让你一个人独自承担所有的事情；
不管以后发生什么事情，我希望能永远陪在你的身边，陪你一起老，陪你一起看我们的孩子长大成人，看孩子成家立业；
老公，'sarang heyo'.

快乐总是非常短暂的。。。现在要说些不快乐的事情了。。。

我真的很想赶快换一个新的环境，去体验新的事物与经验、去接触新的人。。。
我快要被这个旧的环境给逼疯了！
在这里，我非常孤独，没有人能够陪我一起解决事情，任何事情都要自己想办法解决；
每天做的都是无关痛痒的事，真的觉得没有发挥的机会；
做多了、做得好的报酬都一样那么少，根本入不敷出；
还要被监视，我跟什么人见面、谁来找我，都会有人通风报信；
每天还要被催要赶快做好某件事情，但最后才发现原来那件事情根本就不急着用的；
时常要我做一些我很抗拒的事情、要我做哪些装蒜欺骗的事情，我真的很不爽；

我真的快受不了了！！！！

如果我得到的报酬比较高的话，我或许还不会这样生气啊！但我知道无论我再多么努力、再多么勤奋、再多么忠心，结果还是一样的！

但是我没有办法、没有选择，只能默默忍受；因为时机未到，因为现在不是我转换新环境的时候，

所以我告诉自己要忍耐，但有时候也真的是忍无可忍啊！

惟有在这里靠写部落格来发泄我的情绪、我的不悦！

我很不爽！！很不爽啊！！！

我很beh tahan！很 beh tahan！很beh tahan!啊！！！！

发泄后，心情也没有什么转变，唉。。。我想是很难有好心情的啦。。

当我决定别再伤心、生气时，肯定又会有一些不开心的事情来困扰我，使我的心情再从高峰掉落到谷底。。。那种心情很痛苦。。。也难以形容。。

在外头的世界与社会是多么的冷酷，突然发现，最温暖的地方，还是我们的家。。

也突然发现，以前在家有父母的呵护与保护是多么的幸福，

此刻，真的很想躺在父母的怀抱里，向他们撒娇。

我知道我已不能这样做，因为我已经是一个孩子的妈妈了，应该我孩子躺在我的怀抱里才对。

幸好在这些不快乐的日子里，有老公的陪伴，

更重要的是，有孩子的欢笑声，

每天回到家里，看见孩子开心地笑、看见孩子躺在我的怀抱里向我撒娇，

老实说，所有不开心地事情就会被抛到九霄云外。。。

真的很感谢上天赐我一个可爱的宝宝。。。

最后，只希望我可以过得快乐些，我知道这也是我的朋友们也想看到的，

好的，我答应你们，会让自己快乐起来的！

也希望大家能微笑的度过每一天！

TERIMA KASIH

What can i do? What can i say?

I don't know.......I don't know.......I don't know!!!!

I suddenly felt that I had lost the meaning of life.....l felt that i lost everything......everything.....

I lost the time with my beloved parents...

I lost the time with my naughty siblings...

I lost the time with my loving friends...

.

I lost the time with my fellow classmates...

.

I lost the time with my cute juniors....

I lost the time with my respect seniors...

I lost the time with my old friends...

I lost almost everything in my life!

So, what can I say?

only thing that I can say is:

" I'M LUCKY"

although I lost everything, but they din't abandon me...

they still care about me.....think about me...n REMEMBER me...

As boon yee said: maybe i need more time to adapt with it...

As mei ying said: i will get to know what to do when the time come...

As kher shing said: anything will be get through easily as long as I din't give up...

As thiam chun said: only hardworking and blessed people can pass all the challenges...

As eunice said: happiness or not depend on my mind and heart...

Do you see? Do you see?

They din't abandon me! They din't forget me!

They always beside me....when I face problems in my life....

their advice mean a lot to me! n always in my heart.....so that i will not give up in my life...

last word i want to say to you all:

THANK YOU! THANK YOU!

to all my friends....

GIVE ME A BREAK

At the beginning,

u brighten up my life,

with a lot of compliments,

with a lot of caring,

with a lot of encourgement....

but when time passed,

less concern i gain, from u,

less compliment i gain, from u,

but more stuff that not important i need to do, for u...

sometime i work hard,

but u seem like dont know about it...

sometime i well done,

but u seem like dont care about it...

my heart feels pain...

cz my diligence not emphasised by u...

n i jz get a little reimbursement from u...

i asked myself:" is it worth for me to do all these?"

not worth at all also.

but what can i do?

i got no choice...

before i get into a new environment...

i still have to do all these, for u...

haiz....

~~I HAVE NO CHOICE~~

。。憔悴。。

不知从何开始，我变得越来越憔悴了。。

我看见自己的脸容，我都快被吓坏了！

好“残”---这是我对自己现在的样子的唯一形容词。。。

我很累。。。。

每天早上七点就起床，然后就上班，

下班后还要回家照顾孩子和做家务，

每天重复着同样的工作，

开始有点厌倦了。。。。这样的生活。。。



可是，我没有别的选择，

因为我要为孩子的将来做打算，

现在的经济这么低靡，

有一份工作做是多么的幸福。。。


So,

NEVER GIVE UP MAN!!!!

GAMBATEH!!!

不再怨恨....

那种感觉已经消失了.....消失了....
因为现在心里和脑海里都充满着 " 关爱"....



她最近患上了腰骨痛, 走路或弯下腰都会觉得阵痛....

这些我都看在眼里....



我突然觉得她原来是那么地脆弱, 以往那个健康的身躯已离她而去....



我的心灵被动摇了....

我的思想被改变了...

心里开始对她产生了关爱的感觉.....觉得很想协助她及帮忙她去完成她要做的事情...



因此, 每天早上, 我牺牲了自己的睡眠时间, 早一点起床帮她洗衣服, 因为我不想她弯着腰去洗那么多的衣服....

我每天都尽量帮忙她做家务, 让她能多休息.....

此外, 我对她的关心也多了....


我发现自己变了...



我觉得很羞耻、内疚及后悔.....为什么自己当初会对她产生那种感觉？

为什么？

我真的很不应该啊！

因为她是我跟老公的亲密的家人！

为什么我会这样？

我得到启示了！

我开窍了！

我以后不会再有那种想法和感觉了，

我不会再使自己胡思乱想，

我不会再使自己钻牛角尖.



朋友的关心使我应该往好的方面想，

谢谢你们，

谢谢你们启发了我。



我与她的关系变得越来越融洽了，

我对她充满了“关爱”与“感恩”。



如果不是她，我和老公的日子会过得更辛苦些。

我对她不再怨恨，因为我现在终于发现到及感觉到，

“她”对我的重要，

所以我不会再对她怨恨。



我想对她说声“对不起”，

希望她能原谅我，

原谅我的愚蠢，原谅我的无知，我的不应该，
我知错了...

希望我们能继续以现在这样的方式维持下去，
越久越好.....

不再怨恨的感觉真好.......

怨 恨 ? 感 恩?

我 已 经 告 诉 自 己 不 可 以 再 有 这 样 的 想 法, 可 是 昨 天 它 又 来 了.... 它 不 停 地 吞 噬 着 我 的 脑 海, 在 脑 海 中 一 直 闪 着 这 个 念 头: " 我 恨 她! 我 恨 她!"

我 知 道 自 己 不 许 有 这 样 的 念 头, 因 为 她 是 我 的 亲 人....
她 照 顾 我 的 起 居...
她 在 我 的 生 活 中 扮 演 着 相 当 重 要 的 角 色....
所 以 我 不 应 该 怨 恨 她, 而 是 对 她 感 恩....

可 是, 为 什 么 她 要 跟 我 抢?
为 什 么 她 要 跟 我 唱 反 调?
为 什 么 她 要 给 我 脸 色 看?
为 什 么? 为 什 么 啊????

我 很 辛 苦... 真 的 很 辛 苦...
我 也 很 累 了..... 也 觉 得 很 矛 盾.....
可 是 却 不 知 道 要 向 谁 诉 苦.... 因 为 没 有 人 会 明 白 我 的 痛 苦..... 我 内 心 的 挣 扎.....

曾 经 有 这 样 的 想 法.... 不 过 没 多 久 就 消 失 了....
现 在 有 这 样 的 想 法, 可 是 要 多 久 才 能 消 失 呢? 我 不 知 道....
希 望 它 能 快 点 远 离 我..... 越 快 越 好....

该 怨 恨 还 是 感 恩?
我 不 知 道...
只 有 我 的 心 最 清 楚....

往事....

某一天,在某人的部落格上看到了一篇故事....

故事的情景让我想起那一段往事....往事一幕一幕地在脑海里泛起涟漪....

那段往事发生在读书时期....
那一年,我们都很年轻、青春、幼稚.....


那天是我的生日, 大家都帮我庆祝...
我认识了他...
他人很幽默、亲切、对朋友很好.....我....对他产生了好感.....
可是因为那时我们真的还很小, 思想还很嫩....我们都不知道什么是爱情....而且他有了她....一个很漂亮的她.....我只是一个很普通的女孩.....对他而言, 比起她, 我只是一个很普通的普通朋友....所以我也不敢再去想我们会有什么结果, 因为我知道他....是不可能会爱上我的....就这样我把自己对他的爱收藏在心理....甚至随着时间的流逝而渐渐淡忘....


过了一年, 我们的友情还是维持不变...我们还是很普通的普通朋友....而且我也找到了我的初恋....
而他, 跟她分手了......他表面看起来没有伤心, 但我知道他是很喜欢她的.....我也只是像所有人都会做的事情就是去安慰他....一个普通朋友能做的就只有这么多.....


过了一年, 我们竟然被编排在同一间课室上课! 这是多么的巧合....
我们俩都是班上的委员....
那年也是我最糟糕的一年....沉迷于儿女私情及男女爱情.....
这所有事情他都知道....
有时与男友分手后, 我都会带着红肿的双眼来到学校.....这些事情他都看到....有时他会责备我, 有时甚至会嘲笑我....我都不以为意....

他总喜欢与其他男生来嘲笑我及作弄我....但我都从不介意, 而且还会与他们斗嘴或者还手打他们....大家玩得不易乐乎....写到这里, 嘴角也不禁地往上翘....=)
虽然他很喜欢作弄我和丑化我, 而我也很喜欢打骂他, 但我们无所不谈.....男性朋友当中, 他算是与我最要好的一位....

这一年, 我们还一起参加学校的表演, 演出反应热烈, 我俩甚至被同学改了个外号, 想到这, 真的觉得那些往事充满欢乐, 如果时间能够停留在那一刻, 你说那有多好呢?

那一年后, 我们的感情升级了.....从普通朋友变成了好朋友......但爱情.....呵呵.....还是原封不动......


再过了一年, 我们也是同班....我俩还是班上的委员....

我们的相处方式还是像以前那样.......虽然这两年来我都有谈恋爱.....但不知为什么他在我心中总是占据了一个位置.....虽然这个位置不是很重要, 但总是抹不掉.....
这一年, 我们的感情又升级了......从好朋友变成了知己......但爱情.....唉.......还是谈不上.......
这年期间, 甚至有人问我们为什么感情酱好为什么不发展成恋人呢? 我们总是说:" 不可能啦!"
但其实, 我心里对他的爱....还是存在着的......只是无法释放出来.....只能埋藏在心中.....
因为我知道他是不可能会喜欢像我这样不温柔及不漂亮的女生.....


又过了一年, 我们还是同班....相处方式依然如一.....感情也是.....
但这一年, 我俩之间发生了很大的变化.....
这年, 大家的思想可说是成熟了许多.....开始明白什么是爱情.....
朋友总是喜欢撮合我们....但我们彼此都没有采取任何行动....
我从朋友口中得知他好象喜欢我, 但因为我有男朋友......我知道后, 其实心里是很开心的.....但没办法表露出来, 毕竟我已有了男朋友.....
过不久, 我跟男朋友分手了....大家就更加想撮合我们了.....

人家说, 表白过后会有两种情况出现:
一, 两人彼此相爱而共同堕入爱河;
二, 两人表现尴尬而连朋友都做不成
你猜猜看我们会是那种情况呢?
恭喜你, 你猜对了! 嘻嘻.....
我们就是第二种情况咯!

我也搞不清楚我们到底是怎么了....
只能说缘分来得太迟了....
又或者是我们根本是有缘无份?

'不在乎天长地久, 只在乎曾经拥有.'
超级老掉牙的一句话, 虽然应用在我们的身上并不贴切,
但对我来说, 它是贴切的.....
虽然我不曾拥有他, 但能认识到他及成为他的知己,
这对我来说已经算是'曾经拥有'

现在不知他如何?
愿他能早日找到他的真命天女....

找到一个真心爱他及对他好的人...

就像我现在一样....

过着幸福快乐的日子.....